Ami-chan Writes

As requested I got the full thing. X is not the person's designation or anything...I know Gundam era people have a tendency to go by initials, G, J, O and so on...I just don't know what her name was, and we don't like her so she doesn't get a cute numerical nickname, like Nina...

X: We weren't sure if you would report in.

Duo: Uh-heh, yeah. Well...things were a bit...rushed back there, but...we got it.

X: G is concerned tha-

Duo: G? Concerned? Pull the other one, he wouldn't know how to be concerned unless--

X: If you'd let me finish.

Duo: Oh, *not meaning it* sorry...we're told to contact and update. I'm contacting to update. Can I update you?

X: *wearily* Fine.

Duo: Okay, I'm at this place...which...fucking sucks! Okay, you were saying?

X: *in tones of someone who really just wants to get off the phone now, like I hate whoever it was just went 'here, you take this one' like they were being generous* Actually we're awaiting the status (some crap) being uploaded.

Duo: Hey, I delivered that! If they haven't got off their asses and sent it yet, that is not my problem. Delivery was made.

X: I'm sure it was.

Duo: Yeah. Fine. *blows raspberry* You want to know what I had to go through to even find a phone that I could get to contact you people? Find G and put him on if he's so damn concerned.

X: I'm not sure if that's...the (crap) ... we need it.

Duo: Screw that. I have some other stuff that you guys really need to know about.

X: Which is?

Duo: Or Howard. Find Howard. Hell, maybe if you find G you'll find Howard. Howard'll be the one with his lips firmly...

X: You know I think I see the (crap) coming in on the other station. I'll transfer you and check on that.

*after a pause which is long enough for X to have whined at G about having to deal with Duo*

G: *also sounding weary* Maxwell...must you harass everyone?

Duo: You know...sometimes people are just pricks in the un-fun way.

G: Yes, alright. Well. There seems to be some difference of opinion about some information?

Duo: That report was delivered to the place it was supposed to be. Although if I'd known they were going to be pricks about it and I was going to have to explain myself sixty times I'd have just read the fucking thing and told it to you. I have some other stuff I need to talk to you about.

G: Maxwell, where is my Gundam?

Duo: Hum?

G: I'm sure you -remember- it black, shiny, about 600 feet tall!

Duo: *scratching the back of his head* Well...that kinda all ties in with what I was wanting to talk to you about. See...

G: Is Scythe in your vicinity?

Duo: Is Scythe what?

G: *makes strangled noise* Did...you...lose...the Gundam?

Duo: No, I did not fucking lose the Gundam! Shit.

G: Well, then, where is it?

Duo: *small voice* I don't have it.

*sounds of G about to explode a la Vesuvius*

Duo: It was not my fault! Who took the self destruct explosives out and -didn't- put them back in, huh?

G: Who got captured?

Duo: I was trying not to get captured! I did not intend to have my arm blown off! Well, the Gundam's arm blown off...it was numb for two fucking days!! Thank you very much.

G: *can just picture him massaging temples with one hand* Maxwell. Where. Is. The. Gundam?

Duo: That's not important. Right now, what's important is the fact that Oz...has these major fucking new suit things? They move *making sound effects* faster than a fucking Gundam, faster than a Gundam on fucking *phwoosh*...okay? I had six of those things on me. We lost an arm to those fucking things. I was not just walking along do-de-do-de-do I think I'm going to go turn myself over to Oz today, okay?? I'm not “Nick”!

G: Oz has...?

Duo: Do I have to spell it out for you?

G: Please don't.

Duo: Are you even listening to me? Oz has these like super-suit things. They know the um...blast thresh-hold? for Gundanium. They blew off my arm!! It hurt like a bitch. Isn't that more important than the fact that Oz has Scythe because you decided to be a prick about the self-destruct?

G: Moving past your apparent death-wish...

Duo: If I had a death-wish I'd still be in jail.

G: Okay, point taken.

Duo: Ew. I don't want -your- point.

G: -Max-well!

Duo: I've been trying to tell you for the past half hour. Now you want to listen? Maybe I don't want to tell you anymore.

G: About the suits?

Duo: All right. All right. Shit. Keep what's left of your hair on. They look like this cross between a Leo...and what are those really sleek sports cars...anyway, majorly stream-lined, don't look like they'll fall apart if you tickle 'em...and they move really fast, especially for a Leo. I mean, if we tried to move like that so many of us all together, close like that, we'd be getting in each others way, tripping over each other. It was freaky. I don't see how a person can survive in one of those.

G: *obviously pondering on this* Yes...well...we've been working on a course of action lately that would probably do best to continue given this news. Thank you.

Duo: *weirded out* Your...welcome...

G: *hangs up*