Haven: Deep Secrets NSFW

[amichan]

We're sitting round a table in the The Gull: Audrey, Nathan, Julia and me. Cards were shuffled the intent had been poker but they were never dealt. A half eaten plate of wings is still being picked at though.

“I can't imagine,” Audrey says, “Not having your children for that long of the year they're just out to sea like that. No way of getting in touch.”

This promises to be a fun time if I can't find a new topic. I drain what remains of my beer and try to drag my thoughts away from where the Hell Jean could be right now and who the Hell even has her. It's not like it would do me any good being her father for all of the half a day it'd take before I crumbled to dust, but—if I could at least see where she was, know what was going on with her—I need another beer.

“Anyone else want another?” I ask the table, standing up.

Nathan raises his hand. Audrey shakes her beer experimentally and decides no.

“I can get them,” Julia offers.

“I'm up, already.”

I grab two from the bar and have Kerry behind it note it and come back to the table handing one off to Nathan. Thankfully they're now on Chris Brody and Nathan is the one looking uncomfortable.

“I'm not the only one who came over all man crush,” Nathan points out as I sit down.

“Spreading the love of waffles is a civic duty I take most seriously,” I counter, “Your vile pancake propaganda must be stopped.” Not that pancakes are that terrible but this is not the point right now.

“Aren't they fairly similar when it comes down to it?” Audrey inquires.

“Oh, no,” Julia murmurs.

“Get out of my bar,” I instruct her, pointing towards the door as dramatically as I can, “Officer Agent Parker: You are banned.”

“Seriously?” she asks.

“Apologize,” Julia hisses, urgently, “Save yourself.”

Nathan might actually be cracking a smile.

“Duke, I am truly, sorry,” Audrey says, putting her hand on her heart earnestly, “Please educate this poor soul.”

“Alright,” I say, magnanimously, leaning back in my seat, “You can be forgiven because there are a few ingredients that are the same but seriously those ingredients are also in cake itself and even pie crust so really, Audrey, really?”

“It's not like I cook all that much,” she says.

“It's the ratios primarily,” I explain, “But then to get a good light airy waffles as opposed to your stodgy pancake,” I give Nathan a look, “You separate your eggs and fluff up the whites before adding them back in.”

“I see,” Audrey says, though I'm not sure she does.

Julia just laughs. I get the feeling she has maple syrup on her mind again.

“Stodgy?” Nathan asks.

“Yes,” I say, “Pancakes are dense, thick, stodgy. Waffles are light and crisp.”

“I think we should stop there,” Audrey says, “Don't want to have the world's first bar fight over baked goods.”

“Duke,” Julia says in warning tone before I correct Audrey.

I let it drop, partly because there's something going on at the door. After a moment I can see it's Evi kicking up a fuss because Little Mike won't let her in. Finally she hands something off to him and stalks off. Little Mike brings me the thing, which turns out to be an envelope. I tear it open, pull out the contents and then write on the envelope a note to Kerry that he gets two free drinks as a thank you.

“I've had the psycho ex before,” he says, “You sure you want to read that—might be written in blood.”

“Morbid curiosity,” I say with a grin, “Besides I have cops right here.”

It's two sheets of paper. The first is a note from Evi, saying that she went ahead and got into the Rev's office because it was important even if I couldn't see it and just knows I'll be thanking her after I read it.

We'll see.

The other paper is a list. It looks like a photocopy, something that was clearly added to overtime sometimes typed, sometimes handwritten by a couple of different people, most of it is between '81 and '83 but at the very bottom in the right hand column there are a few recent additions whose names I recognize.

“People Killed by The Cursed” is the title. About halfway down the first column Evi has drawn an arrow and written “see” pointing to the name SIMON CROCKER with the date May 1983. When I scoff laugh the table turns to look and inquire exactly what's going on. I double check the names though, the recent ones are people who have died during issues with Trouble fighting. James Lester, who died right before Audrey arrived, Phil Reiser who I remember all too well given his fate could have been mine too. But then there are ones like Darlene Lewis, Johnathan Masters from the 80s and I have no idea who they are.

“What is it?” Julia asks.

“I'm guessing it's supposed to insight me to riot or something,” I drop the paper on the table, “Grand revelations that my Dad pissed someone off enough that they offed him, supposedly; because I immediately trust information that came from the Rev via Evi.”

Nathan reaches for the paper, for a moment I debate snatching it back but whatever. He looks it over, “Ah, yes, I forgot that I'm Cursed. Well, we know Lester and, uh, Reiser,” he looks at me sideways for a moment, “were...”

“But that's classic con, Nate, put just enough true information on something that the rest which might be true is easier to believe.”

Julia rubs her foot along my calf.

Audrey reaches over and takes the list from Nathan, “Well, we can look into these others easily enough, and surely there's a cause of death on your Dad's certificate.”

“Accident on boat,” I tell her. Of course that would mean he was damn clumsy on boats the entire time he was doing work given the state he generally came home in. I shake my head, “but what they tell kids and what actually happens...so that might not be what's actually on there. I've not gone back and looked.”

“You don't sound like you believe it.”

“I lived with the guy,” I wave a hand, “One thing he was good at was boats, but he was not good with people. If some Troubled person did kill him I'm sure he deserved it.”

“Duke,” Julia says.

“And what the Hell point is there in them giving me that,” I wave at the paper in Audrey's hand, “Are they figuring I'm going to go on some rampage about it? He's dead and gone and it's damn good riddance.”

Nathan gives me an eye.
“If your Dad was still here he could tell you some things. I swear some times he was up at our place once a week,” I drain the beer, “Anyway, enough of that bull shit,” I lean slightly forward and drum my hands on the table top a couple of times, “If we're not actually going to play poker I'm going to turn in.”

“Can I keep this?” Audrey asks.

“Have at it,” I tell her, moving away from the table towards the door, “I'd probably just light it on fire or...do something else with it.”

“I better go make sure he doesn't fall off the dock and drown,” I hear Julia behind me and wait just on the other side of the door away from line of sight until she catches up.

She links arms with me which is good in more than one way because I realize after I stood up that I was getting kind of dizzy; drank that last beer a little too fast and we walk the short distance back to the Cape.

 

$$$$ 

Julia nuzzles my neck once we're inside the cabin, “Do you want to talk about things?” she asks, running her hand into the hair under my neck, slowly working the band out so that the ponytail comes undone. I hear the tie snap around her wrist. She scratches my scalp a few times which is a very soothing maneuver.

I lean back into her touch, “If you keep doing that I don't know that talking is on the table.”

“Well,” she says, “Not talking can help things too considering,” she stands up on tip toes and kisses my neck, there's that gentle nibbling which works it's way up to my ear as she continues scratching at the back of my head with one hand. I turn to face her more working my hands up under her shirt as I lean to remove it so that I can take her mouth with mine and kiss her.

She's kicking her shoes off now, and working at the button on my jeans. I push my own shoes off, lifting her over them. The rest of the clothes are soon gone, and I pick her up fully. She wraps her legs around me, kissing me more intensely as I support her back so I can lay her down on the couch which is closest by. She keeps her arms around my neck, as I kneel and then start to but then.

“No,” she says, “Lay back,” she sits up, and pushes on my shoulders, forcing me backwards so that my head and neck are resting against the arm of the couch, and sits on me instead, sliding herself home, her legs resting towards my shoulders, wiggling from side to side the way she knows drives me crazy as she does so with that devilish smile on her face, before she starts rocking forward and backward on me with little grunts each time she lands. After a few moments I'm able to adjust myself so that I can push up against her and then she lets out a grateful moan and I must have found that spot.

I hold her legs to assist with the rocking motion and we move backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. I can feel it building, the blood rush from one place to another leaving my head light and floaty. My own moans coming in time with Julia's, and then everything is shuddering and relaxing. Julia shifts slightly to release my penis and then lays her head down on my chest and kisses me there. We lay there for a while in silence, feeling each others' breathing. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and kiss the top of her head.

“So,” she says, after a few more moments, “What were you trying to not think about?”

“What do you mean?”

She sits up ever so slightly, “Come on,” she says, “I can tell when you're doing that whole drink to forget-slash-push-something-away thing.” She pats my chest a couple of times with one hand, and then lays her head back down, “If I can help you...”

“I don't know that there's anything,” I tell her. I kiss the top of her head again.

“I seem to recall previous conversations about deflection,” she remarks, one hand balling into a fist and bopping me over the nipple.

I mock curse at her and rub the area.

“I take it this is deeper than your Dad,” she says, sitting up on me. I take a moment to breath in her body there, over me, like a precious jewel.

I put one arm behind my head and look towards the back of the couch, “I'm sure some of the baggage he left me with doesn't help,” I twist my mouth into a half-attempt at a smile but it feels less than...anything, really. I know she's not going to get all judgmental with me. I know that. I just. I hold a hand out to brace her arm so I can shift my position more into sitting up, “I need up,” I tell her, so that she'll move off my lap, “I'm going to get to it, I am...” she probably guesses where I'm going.

Though it's chillier than I thought once I stand up, so I wind up detouring to the bedroom for pants that aren't jeans. When I come back into the state room Julia has my shirt on and is pouring whiskey into two tulip glasses.

I wrap my arms around her from behind and nibble her ear, “You know me too well, Wench.”

“Isn't that what you pay me for?” she teases, offering up the glass with the larger amount of whiskey in it. I take it from her with another kiss and swig a good quarter of it looking for the liquid courage to burn it's way into me. I'm so not used to sharing things with people, especially something like this. I take the bottle of the whiskey and go sit back down at the couch, setting the whiskey bottle on the table to my right. Julia comes and nestles up against my left side, tucking her bare feet up under her, swirling the liquid around in her glass. She moves my left arm around her shoulders and kisses my hand.

I take another drink of whiskey and breathe out slowly, words are normally so easy. Just where to start with the whole thing? I drain the rest of the glass of whiskey.

Beginning.

“You remember when I said 'Don't suck out my life force?'”

She gives a slight laugh, “I had been meaning to ask you about that, but I wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up...”

I manage a smile, “Yeah...so the last time I had sex before you and I got together I almost died.”

She sits up for a moment, “What?”

I lean over and get the whiskey bottle, and top up my glass so I can take another drink, a small one, “Yeah...” I drag the word out, and then lean back on the couch, “Helena. She...I don't exactly know...” I shake my head, “...but afterwards I started aging. There had been—the week before they found this guy, Reiser.”

“He was on the Rev's list.”

“Yeah. Vince and Dave found his body in a boat, right around the time The Gull was opening. He'd died of old age, but he was like thirty, and this guy Joe, he'd hooked up with this woman that night, and on the Monday he collapsed in front of your—in front of Eleanor, and died—could have been his own grandfather. This wasn't all put together exactly...that way, but that's how it was.”

“And she got you.”

“Yeah. I was...distracted. I'd told Audrey I'd make dinner for her. It was kind of a bet,” I explain.

“Duke, I don't care if you--” she starts.

“That's what it was though. I told her she needed to relax. She was all wound up and everything when she came in looking for info about Reiser opening night. She wouldn't take the time off to chill I told her I'd cook her a meal next Friday. She said she didn't think I could keep to it considering all the things I tend to be up to at any given time, 'Like you ever plan anything in advance,' and I told her she'd cancel before I would. Turned out I was right,” I shrug, “I didn't want to be, of course and I didn't find out until I called her, but it was after that when I ran into Helena who is...was...mesmerizing,” I can still see the dark hair and the purple dress, as she flashed the brilliant smile at me from across the back deck of The Gull, “I mean...she asked about dinner and, everything was just...on. It was afterwards...the next day when I woke up, with the weirdest hangover ever,” I have to laugh as I top up the whiskey glass, “achy, sore, but not—you know? And then...I mean, she was gone, and I just I knew what I'd just gone and done, or who rather.”

Julia shifts over on the couch and puts her hands over mine which are wrapped around my whiskey glass, “But you're not dead, so—so the Trouble was fixed, obviously.”

I nod, pulling one hand away from the hold so I can drink some more from the glass, “Yeah, after I finally got hold of Audrey there...” I shake my head, “Anyway, they'd tracked her down to the lighthouse—the other one, the harbor master's. Thought at first she was living there with them – but Beady it was her. Helena is her, like some Jekyll and Hyde thing, and the later it got in the day, the older...it was getting towards evening and I could hardly walk. Nathan and I sat outside while Audrey went in to find out what was going on.”

“So, Helena was sucking out your life force? Or Beady was?”

I shake my head, “No,” I can feel it catching in me, “No, our daughter was.”

“Your...” Julia says. She shifts up on the couch more to wrap herself around me like a blanket.

I nod, “I found out the next day. I...was too, well, essentially dead the day of,” I find that minor snarky laugh, “Nate apparently did actual CPR on me...but anyway, that's what caused all the aging. Helena was some sort of baby making siren. She would sleep with guys, get pregnant in Beady's body. The babies would suck out their father's life force to grow over a couple of days and then once they were born and Beady held them the fathers would die. They—they tried to give her to me, apparently, hoping it would fix things but it made me worse. I guess that's when Nate had to give me—give me CPR. I—I'm not sure.” I drain the glass.

My eyes feel like they're about to burn out of my face.

“What—what happened to her?”

“Jean,” I barely have any voice I realize, “Her name is Jean. That's what Audrey said. They sent her somewhere. I—I don't know. Another state. Audrey was all, 'the further away from you she is the less likely you're going to die...' Which is well and good, but I,” I try to slow my breathing, “I—she's my child. I'd like to be a part of her life in some way.”

Julia shifts around so that she's sitting in my lap wrapping her legs around my back. She takes the glass out of my hand and leans over to set it on the counter. She kisses me softly and puts her arms around my back holding me tightly.

“I haven't been able to find her though,” I whisper into Julia's shoulder, “I know all these people everywhere, and no one can tell me anything. If she was twenty cases of dodgy rum, or slightly used extremely hot guns I would have no problem, but my own kid.”

She takes my head in her hands and leans in close, “I'll help you,” she whispers, and I feel the tears fully breaking free then and falling down her back, “I can't promise that I can get you in a room with her without you dying, but damn it I will track her down.”

 I don't know that there's really anyway I can articulate exactly how much this means to me in words so I hold her chin and turn her face so that I can kiss her mouth gently. She returns the kiss with equal tenderness, and I press for more depth, adding my tongue to the kiss, which she returns, her hands, as they often do, finding their way into tangles of my hair which is always awesome. I shift so I can hold the back of her head with one hand and find the other hand in the small of her back hoping for more. She climbs out of my lap and pulls my hand so I'll get up as I do so the room swims from side to side and I have to brace against the arm of the couch.

“Duke?” she asks.

“Just...give me a...moment.”

She does, and then she offers me her arm so I can lean against her, and insists we stop in the galley so I can drink some water with the theory that will help stop my head from spinning a little bit. Then we head to the bedroom and that's the mood gone go me. The room is still turning some as she lowers me to the bed but she lays down next to me and wraps her arms around me and that makes me not care so much and it's not long before I'm asleep.