Haven: Collapse 2: Hospital

[amichan]

 My left hand is itchy, and I'm stiff and sore. When I shift position my knees pop, my left leg throbs and my foot is aches and won't move properly; there's someone close. I can feel warm breath against my neck and I can smell a familiar perfume. I open my eyes. Julia is curled up next to me on the small bed, one hand under her cheek, the other against my hip. I carefully move my right hand so I can brush the hair away from her face. My hand is shaky, but she is not. Her presence is strong and true.

There's movement behind us and I tense. Someone by the door to the small room that we're in. It's not a nurse though—they would just barge right in.

"Found him...them..." Audrey's voice amends, speaking softly.

I hear Nathan join her, but keep myself still. They don't need to come barging in and disturb Julia. I can imagine how frantic she must have been. I have vague memories of her practically cussing out a paramedic.

"Doing okay?" Nathan asks.

"I think so," Audrey says, "Which is good," her voice is tight, "You didn't see him..."

"He's strong," Nathan says.

I might faint.

"I knew you two liked each other," Audrey teases.

Nathan doesn't say anything for a moment. I wonder what his face is doing, but I'm not going to turn. Nathan makes a slight noise.

"What was that?" Audrey asks, still speaking low.

"If it's like you were saying. He's gotten through things like that before. He can do it again."

"What are you talking about?" she asks.

"Nothing. Never mind," I hear him moving.

"Nathan!" she hisses.

"You weren't here back then. Don't. Never mind. That's not up to me--" I hear as Nathan walks off, briskly.

"Nathan Wuornos!" Audrey disappears too.

"What was that?" Julia stirs and looks over at me sleepily.

"Trouble in paradise," I kiss her nose.

"Good for them," she murmurs, shifting herself carefully closer to snuggle against me, "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, you know--" I shift, no point trying to brush it off there are so many things here she could stab me with, "Like a truck backed over me three or four times. They didn't amputate anything did they?"

"No," she says, "I wouldn't let them," she wriggles up, cradling my cheek and kisses me, running a hand through my hair which is loose from it's tie I was worried for a moment that it had been cut, but I can tell by how she moves her hand through it that it's intact too. She must realize my thought, "I wouldn't let them cut this either, not that there was any risk of that. This is mine," she tugs on it, gently. I still wind up wincing. My head's not quite right yet. I wonder how long it's been.

"Good. I'm glad I keep you around to stick up for me."

"It's what you pay me for," she teases.

"Best investment I ever made," I reply.

"Damn straight," she nestles as best she can into the crook of my arm.

"When can we leave?" I ask her, "I'd much rather be back in our actual bed. It's comfier."

"The hospital is not going to eat you," she says.

"Says you."

She doesn't say anything for a moment. Just toys with my chest after threading her hand under the hospital gown. It's tender, bruised, but her touch is gentle, "This was a bad one, huh?"

I kiss the top of her head, "Yeah...there were factors."

"I could tell it was hard on you. I mean, I know I can't...I can't ever feel it the way you can, but with the way I did these," she touches our wrists and therefore our tattoos together, "I could tell that you had to use your Trouble...a lot and that it was--it was bad." She's sat up slightly, looking me in the face.

I realize now why my left hand was itching. There's a drip of some kind attached to it. I move carefully when I put that hand on the back of her head and then cradle her against my chest, before kissing the top of her head, "It's easing up now though, and you're here which always makes things better."

"Flatterer," she mutters into my chest, but I know she wants answers.

"I had to take blood a few times to dig Audrey out," I tell her, "The beams would have slipped and crushed or impaled her depending which got there first, and they--they were way too heavy." I feel my chest tighten, remembering the taste, and her own blood so close now, but not something I need. Not. Something. She takes the hand of mine that's not on her back and uncurls my fingers and knots our fingers back together.

"It's okay," she says, kissing my chest through the fabric of the gown, "You're okay."

"Mm," I manage.

"Madeline," she says, "You...had to..."

"She begged," I admit, "For her siblings and nieces and nephews..."

She exhales slowly.

"She heard Audrey and I having it out about Nix given the great mental place I was in as you can imagine."

"Yeah."

She moves up and carefully, keeping her arms on either side of me kisses me. It's another of those deep kisses, and it tears at me. Just one bite coils from some deeper part of me and I have to break away from the kiss. Julia looks at me only a momentary flicker of hurt.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"I--almost bit you." I start to pull myself up into sitting position. She climbs off the bed, and gives me a hug around my neck almost getting tangled in the drip line.

"It's okay. You didn't. You didn't."

"We need to get out of here," I tell her neck and hair, "Please..."

"I'll find someone," she says, "Do not touch that line," she warns me, pointing at my hand, "I will find someone."

I want to get out though.

Julia stops at the door, "Promise. Me." She says, sternly, "That you will stay here."

"I..."

"Duke."

"I promise." I lean back in the bed, and shade my eyes against the light because it seems to be boring it's way through my closed eye lids.

My arms are on fire. It doesn't help if I rub or scrub or scratch. I remember this feeling...to a certain extent. Trying to work my way through it, scrubbing and cleaning, stripping and painting working to clean up the Cape Rouge; and failing, falling back, and then the days in bed with the “stomach flu” when everything was boiling out, but now I'm just stuck here lying in this stupid hospital bed.

If I walk...I have to stay here. I promised Julia. I can't go looking for anyone.

I mean, I could.

I could walk without taking the drip out of me. They move. They're on wheels, but I promised. I promised. That's why she did that. She knows. Tricky wench. This is a hospital here. Here in Haven. It's just full of the stuff. It's everywhere.

I can...

No. No. I don't need it. I don't want it. That's the trick.

I stop myself. Already sat up and hug my knees.

I'm staying here. The trick is what my body is making me think. We've been through this before. Your body lies to itself. It doesn't need it. Not going to die. It doesn't. It doesn't. Too hot. Too cold. Hot. It's all over me. All over. Got to get it off. My fingers are too shaky to undo anything. I can't get the shirt thing, stupid thing off me.

"We're back!" I hear Julia, "What are you trying to do?" She hurries over and takes my hands away from my neck.

"Too hot," I tell her.

"Okay. Well, calm down. There's no use strangling yourself." She takes my hands.

"When do we leave?" I ask her, "The Gull's not going to run itself..."

She puts a hand to my forehead, as she does so the nurse steps forward and sticks something in my ear. Someone else has followed into the room, wheeling something. None of them smell as good as Julia, the combination of perfume and...and that. There is no that with them, probably just as well.

"We definitely have a fever," the first nurse says, after a moment.

"No," Julia says, sarcastically, removing her hand and wiping it on the nurse's shirt where it leaves a sheen of dampness.

"What are you doing?" I ask her as she offers him my left hand. It's simple enough to pull away. My hand is slippery and I've always been stronger.

"Duke!" she scolds, "Come on now. You trust me, don't you? You said you felt like you'd been hit by a truck--"

"Hmm-mmm..."

"This will help with that," she looks, urgently towards the nurse, who jabs the needle into the port as soon as I offer my hand towards her. She rubs her hand across my forehead as I lay back against the pillow, "Is that helping?" she asks.

"That wasn't painkiller..." I hear the nurse pointing out.

"I know that," Julia mutters, "Got him to take it though."

"What did you...?" I ask her, the pain is floating away but so am I.

"You'll thank me later..." she says, kissing my cheek, “Do what I have to to keep your idiot self okay.”

Why did I tell her that?