SPN: College Dreams & Nightmares
May. 15th, 2015 08:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amichan"Sam. Sam!" Jessie's face appears as I open my eyes. It's full of concern, "You were having a nightmare," she says.
Wouldn't be the first time. I sit up, "I'm sorry I woke you."
"Don't," she says, pushing my shoulder and than wrapping her arms around me from the side, "You need comfort. I'm glad I woke up. Better than that night of you pacing the apartment not wanting to wake me, right?"
"Right," I say quietly, full of rue.
She ruffles my hair, "Don't blame yourself. Blame your fucked up upbringing." She moves around to kiss my nose, "What was it about?"
"Something bad happened to you," Is all I can bring myself to tell her. I don't want to lay back down because she was above me on the ceiling: burning.
"I'm not going anywhere," she says.
"I know. It wasn't like that...it wasn't on purpose," I sigh, "There was a fire."
She hugs me tighter, kisses my ear and my cheek, "Oh, Sam..."
She knows what happened to my Mom, of course, but I was a baby. I don't actually remember it. I was just told. House fire. After Dad sent my brother out with me he tried to get her out. He couldn't and it was more than too late by the time the fire department got there.
"It's probably just the LSATs winding me up," I reason, "pulling shit from my past, right?"
"I'm not the psych major. That's Aliya," she points out, "but it sounds reasonable. Logical, even."
"That's me." I put my head down on my knees.
I feel her kissing the knuckles of the hand that's closest to her. One kiss on each knuckle, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?" she says, "And these are new apartment buildings, sprinkler systems, and we're always super careful about leaving things on, neither of us smoke. No fire hazards, right?" she rubs my back.
"Right," I tell my knees.
"So, come on, crazy head," she pushes me back and forth until I look up at her again, "Let's get this out of your brain so we can go back to sleep," she has a mischievous look on her face.
"How are you suggesting that we do that?" I ask her, "Do you have some sort of brain sucking device?"
"Sort of," she grins, "You boys are easy when it comes to things like this," she plants her hands on either side of me and brings her face up close to mine, "because as soon as certain things happen it takes complete control," she rubs her nose against mine closing in further so that I wind up backing against the wall a bit and she straddles me, "over every impulse you have and you can only think about one thing."
She kisses me deeply, hands on either side of my face, tongue chasing mine, and she's right.
I'm gone.
Wouldn't be the first time. I sit up, "I'm sorry I woke you."
"Don't," she says, pushing my shoulder and than wrapping her arms around me from the side, "You need comfort. I'm glad I woke up. Better than that night of you pacing the apartment not wanting to wake me, right?"
"Right," I say quietly, full of rue.
She ruffles my hair, "Don't blame yourself. Blame your fucked up upbringing." She moves around to kiss my nose, "What was it about?"
"Something bad happened to you," Is all I can bring myself to tell her. I don't want to lay back down because she was above me on the ceiling: burning.
"I'm not going anywhere," she says.
"I know. It wasn't like that...it wasn't on purpose," I sigh, "There was a fire."
She hugs me tighter, kisses my ear and my cheek, "Oh, Sam..."
She knows what happened to my Mom, of course, but I was a baby. I don't actually remember it. I was just told. House fire. After Dad sent my brother out with me he tried to get her out. He couldn't and it was more than too late by the time the fire department got there.
"It's probably just the LSATs winding me up," I reason, "pulling shit from my past, right?"
"I'm not the psych major. That's Aliya," she points out, "but it sounds reasonable. Logical, even."
"That's me." I put my head down on my knees.
I feel her kissing the knuckles of the hand that's closest to her. One kiss on each knuckle, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?" she says, "And these are new apartment buildings, sprinkler systems, and we're always super careful about leaving things on, neither of us smoke. No fire hazards, right?" she rubs my back.
"Right," I tell my knees.
"So, come on, crazy head," she pushes me back and forth until I look up at her again, "Let's get this out of your brain so we can go back to sleep," she has a mischievous look on her face.
"How are you suggesting that we do that?" I ask her, "Do you have some sort of brain sucking device?"
"Sort of," she grins, "You boys are easy when it comes to things like this," she plants her hands on either side of me and brings her face up close to mine, "because as soon as certain things happen it takes complete control," she rubs her nose against mine closing in further so that I wind up backing against the wall a bit and she straddles me, "over every impulse you have and you can only think about one thing."
She kisses me deeply, hands on either side of my face, tongue chasing mine, and she's right.
I'm gone.