FFX: Make or Break: 1526 words

[amichan]

Save file is dated 2008.

Chappu looks more than a little confused and exasperated, as we stand on opposite sides of the eating table of Zeke’s house, where I tend to spend most of my time anyway. Lately it’s been like having the place to myself, “I thought—okay—well I kinda hoped you’d be happy, you know?” he says, “I mean, you’re the one who’s always going on about blitz ball not going to do anything for me, for my future…”

“I don’t always go on,” I counter, “I’ve said that maybe four times tops. I was thinking you would learn a trade, not go off and get yourself killed!”

“We’re not going to get killed, Lulu. We’re getting weapons from the Al Bhed.”

I sigh, “I’d really rather you didn’t do this, Chappu—in a few months Padre Zeke will be ready, our group will be ready to go and…”

“How many more people will be killed within that time? Something needs to be done now! The corps is ready now” he pauses, so angry and defiant, “So, are you going to order me to stay, milady?”

“Stop it, Chappu, just stop it,” I sit down on a chair, feeling myself starting to shake, “You know I have never, I would never…I just…” and I feel the tears, “I don’t want to lose you, Chappu. We’ve both lost our parents…I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m coming back,” he says, kneeling in front of me and taking my hands, “I will come back, and I will marry you, and we’ll raise children, who hopefully take after you in looks…in a happy, safe world. Were the only thing they’ll have to fear other than their uncle, is maybe catching a cold, or getting cramps swimming after eating. Okay?” he says, “That’s why I want to do this.”

I nod, and he moves to sit next to me, “I still don’t like it.”

“Oh, for the love of--!” he stands up again, throwing his hands into the air, “I thought we’d gotten past this.”

I fold my arms, “It doesn’t work that way,” and then stand up, “I’m not going to switch gears and think this is a wonderful idea, just because you tell me how you want to make the world safe, sunshine and light and blah-blah-crap!”

“It is not crap!” he retorts, “how is me wanting to do this any different from you wanting to take your dolls and follow Zeke off on his magical quest? How’s that for a false hope?”

“I’m not saying we’re going to finish it off!” I say, “All I want to do is guard Zeke to the best of my ability! If we manage to get rid of it, that’s great! Maybe we can hurt it a lot. Maybe we can even make it all the way through the pilgrimage and Zeke will get his Final Summoning I’m sure we’re not the only area that’s trying to do anything about this…we’ll do what we can.”

“and that’s different to me, how? We’ll do what we can too. We’ll beat this thing—,”

“There’s how it’s different!” I retort, “There you go thinking you can beat it.”

“Well how else will we?” he demands, “If we go in there thinking we’re going to die, we’ll make it happen! But if we go in there thinking we can win, then damn it we just might!”

“Well, I hope for the sake of your eternal soul that you’re right!”

“Okay, that’s enough,” he says, “I’m going to go now, and you come by and see me when you calm down and are ready to talk like a civilized person without all this doom and gloom, and you’re damned forever…”

“When did I say you’re ‘damned forever’?”

“Well, you just implied it.”

I sigh, “That’s not what I meant…I just—I don’t want to lose you.”

“Well, you’re doing a fine job, so far…” he mutters, which makes me take hold of his hands and lean towards him.

“I’m sorry, alright,” I move so the lean means I’m resting against his chest, he doesn’t stop me which is a good sign, “This scares me, Chappu…it really does. I just, I want to know you’re going to be safe and that you’re going to be back. I want to believe that you will be, but I can’t…I just can’t. I don’t want to hope for the best and be disappointed. I guess I’d rather hope for the worst and be surprised…”

“You do it your way and I’ll do it mine,” he says, “Can we at least agree to differ on this one thing?”

“I suppose we’re going to have to.”

He hugs me, “Let me put it this way then. Barring dismemberment I will limp back to you on crutches if I have to. As much as you don’t want to lose me, I don’t want to lose you.”

I tilt my face up to kiss him, and that's all it takes for the fire and the passion to reignite. We've always had a fiery relationship in that respect, two stubborn people, two hot-heads. I know his brother often warned him and even tried to get him to change his mind from pursuing me because I'm known for my cold attitude, but Chappu did anyway, and for that I'm grateful. He is my hero, and that's what makes it so scary for me. I remember what my world was like before we came together like this, and if he's gone...I don't want to think about it.

 

 

Chappu starts and jumps, shifting; his sudden movement makes me jump up also. Is Zeke home? He’s tended to sleep over at the council house, if he sleeps…and sends notification ahead of him, is that what this is?

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

He points, stuttering, “Something moved, over there…I swear. There aren’t bugs or something are there?”

“You’re scared of bugs?” I remark, leaning back on the pillows, laughing, “Oh, my hero…”

“Stop it. Something moved, I swear! I’m not seeing things.”

“Well, what did it look like?”

“I don’t know…it moved down…quickly, from the dresser.”

“Then it’s probably just something falling with the wind or something, ignore it. Go back to sleep. I want to savor as much of you as I can before you leave…” I’m careful not to hinder that statement with bias, by mentioning where he’s going. It will spare another argument, that last one was bad enough. No more.

But he’s not content, bundling the top sheet around him but leaving me the blanket. He goes to investigate. So, I sit up in bed, wrapping myself in the blanket as he gets down and looks, “I don’t see…” he starts, but then he jumps again, “There it went down there!” he points, “it’s pretty big and yellow…ish.”

I lean down my side of the bed, and look where he pointed, I can’t see anything, but then something moves the part of the blanket that’s hanging over the edge of the bed, and I start, “Okay, I see it. I…”

He comes around the other side, so that whatever-it-is is between us. Although I’m starting to have an idea which unnerves me, given they’ve never really done that unless I’m actively thinking about them, and forcing them in a sense.

We both grab, colliding with each other in a semi-comedic fashion as the ‘whatever-it-is’ jumps up and tries to clamber into the bed. I stop, rubbing my head, hair further dislodged and hanging here there and everywhere in front of my eyes, as Chappu, rubbing his head (I can just make out the movement as I free my vision from hair) points, and Moogie falls off the bed, given plushie arms and legs don’t give much in the way of foot holds and falls onto the floor.

“What…the…?” Chappu asks.

I scoop Moogie up, “What’s going on with you?” As soon as I touch him he stops wriggling and all pretense of movement, and flops, like the stuffed toy he really is.

Chappu looks over at me, flushing, “He wasn’t watching was he?”

“Chappu…look at him. He has no eyes! They’re just buttons…” I scratch my head, pulling out some loose strands of hair as I do so, “He…I don’t know why he was doing that…”

Chappu colours further, “I think I have an idea…”

“If this involves anything—,” but he cuts me off, kissing me again. My hand’s let go of Chappu and find there way into his hair, as his browse my body.

He pulls back sharply as Moogie jumps up between us, brushing both our chins. I back away, looking at the avatar eyes wide, “Okay, that’s just…”

Chappu seems to decide this is more funny than embarrassing now that he’s right.

I pick Moogie up, “Okay, I’m sorry, but you have to go away!” and I put him inside the trunk with the rest of them, quickly before I can see if they’re having a similar reaction to my…happiness.